Yet another brain dump about moving issues. I’m finding it quite nice to get these things out, even if I won’t be publishing them for a few months, if at all!
This week’s moving fixation is how the heck we’re going to make friends after we move across the country.
Seriously, how DO people in their late 20s/early 30s make new friends? I’m guessing the answer for the majority of people will be through work. Your work environment is where you are most likely to interact with a number of peers in your age group, who assumedly you would have something in common with, and over time, form bonds that lead to hanging out outside of work.
At least that’s where we’ve found almost all of our current friends since we moved to California almost 7 years ago.
But my husband will be working from home, and hopefully (fingers crossed, because I still don’t know at the time of writing this) I will get to keep my job too. So we’ll both be holed up in our house all day, not out there interacting with other local people. So how can we meet and make friends?
We’ve already decided that we’ll try to get out of the house every day, go out to lunch or dinner, go for a walk around the neighborhood, drive around and check out different areas we might want to buy a house in, whatever. Something to not go stir-crazy, since, at least for me, it’s going to be a bit of a transition to go from BS’ing with the guys at work and chatting with people all the time, to seeing nobody but my cats and husband all day, limited to only talking on the phone or emailing my co-workers.
So we’ve got an anti-cabin fever plan.
But how can we get out to actually meet people? At least we do have my husband’s brother and his wife, who we love spending time with, living nearby. But we can’t just rely on them to always entertain us, right? So I’ve been stressing about this rather small, really-not-that-important-in-the-giant-scheme-of-moving-things thing. And checking out meetup.com groups, which kinda intimidate me, since it sort of sounds like group blind dates for couples. And stressing some more, wondering if we’re going to be destined to be friendless losers. I mean, we’ve already got 3 cats—we’re well on our way to becoming sad, lonely, crazy cat people!
Before my self doubt and worry about our lack of east coast friend-making abilities could spiral out of control any further though, I brought it up to my husband. Who luckily put it all into perspective.
To summarize his very good points:
- In the almost 7 years we’ve live in Cali, out of the 25 or so camping trips we’ve been on, we’ve only gotten people to commit to going camping with us twice, so just how good/reliable are the friends we have now anyway (as a way of saying we shouldn’t miss our current flaky friends too much).
- We will just have to make an effort. We will just have to put ourselves out there, go to meetup.com meet ups, whatever it takes (it was reassuring to hear him say this, although I have my doubts. I’m the social one and he’s much more of an introvert, so we’ll see when the time comes if he’s willing to go out of his comfort zone and talk to new people.).
- I have a really strong online community of friends, who I can turn to anytime, no matter where we live (which I completely forgot about until he pointed it out, but it is totally true. I feel like I know some of my blogging friends better than my real life friends, since I get a several-times-a-week deep insight into what's happening in their lives.). Anyone want to have a virtual happy hour with me? :)
- We will always have each other. (Awwwww! Best husband ever award! But seriously, this is a really good point, we were BFFs even before we started dating, and always rely on each other first and foremost for entertainment and companionship.)
Thank goodness I have someone as sweet as my husband to talk me off the ledge sometimes. For now, I’m going to try to let this worry go, at least until we’ve moved and find ourselves tempted to start hoarding more cats....
Have you ever a made a big move to a new state, where you couldn’t rely on school or work to make new friends? How did you meet new people?